Bop and Topple

I've a terrible mental habit.

The only reason this terrible habit is socially acceptable is because of the extraordinary conscious effort that I must exhibit to restrain myself from making these thoughts manifest. And it is quite the struggle to hold back.


There's a lovely pier jutting into Lake Michigan just 20 minutes from the university where I study. I find myself heading that direction with more frequency as my time here grows (going on 7 years... yikes), just to stroll to the end of the pier and gaze at the lighthouse and the waves, and the occasional sailboat gliding by. It's a pastime that many others enjoy as well; it's not unusual to see dozens of people strolling, fishing, or taking pictures.

But I'm that girl with the terrible mental habit.

Whenever I'm walking down this pier – a concrete arm reaching out nearly a half-mile into the Lake, with sides that drop 10 feet before they reach water – I am struck by an overwhelming urge akin to little bunny Foo Foo. I see strangers leaning over the edge, peering (while piering) into the depths below, and I am overcome by the impulse to bop them from behind and watch them plop peacefully into the water. My brain simply sees a bowling pin ready to be tipped; if I were to let my primitive instincts override my cognitive reasoning function, I'd be racing down the pier like a pinball, toppling each unsuspecting wave-watcher with a kerplunk. I have no sense of malice for any of these people; it's just an unfortunate correlation between their unbalanced peering and my inexplicable desire to clear the pier.

This terrible habit makes me think of the I do's.

Paul's I do's (were you thinking something else?) go like this:

¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing...k ²⁴ What a wretched man that I am! (Romans 7:15,19,24a NIV)

There's nothing about this strange desire to bop pierers from behind that appeals to me. I wouldn't want to see them floundering in the waters below; I wouldn't like their upset reaction, either. In fact, I'm positive I'd immediately regret toppling them, trying frantically to help them regain their balance, perhaps plunging into the canal along with them. There's no logic behind this mental urge to tip lake-viewers. But still, I do think it, and I do not understand why I do.

Maybe you're trying to hold back your inner Foo Foo, and you're not quite sure what got into you in the first place. You're fed up with your repeated failures. 
Don't fret. We've all been there. And there's a way out: 

²⁴ ...Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:24-25 NIV)

Go ahead – quash that Foo Foo! 
(And don't be nervous about invites to stroll the pier with me; I think it's under control. But just to be safe, take care when leaning over the edge...)